How could i be this weak?

I tried to kill it. God knows how much I tried. But it won't stop.

I call your name in silence. I cry in silence. I suffer in silence. I miss you in silence.

Somebody save me.

i learned that i can live without you but  just do not want to.

i learned that you are a beautiful blue sky in summer, untainted.

i learned that you are the wind that makes the brown leaves fall from their branches, gentle.

i learned that you are the silence of old corridor halls, full of memories.

i learned that you are the noise of children laughing, euphoric.

there is no point denying that i love you.

i learned that my love for you is beyond social expectations.

i learned that my love for you does not entail ownership.

i learned that my love for you transcends cliche.

i learned that being away for awhile makes me love you more.

i learned that i may get hurt in the process but will still persevere.

i learned that i love you enough to be there for you but will give you the freedom to be happy.

there are no more rules with how i feel.

i learned that you are the stories at the back of my heart, waiting to be written.

i learned that you are the unforgiving rain which i want to die with.

i learned that you are the only one person i would rather break my heart.

i learned that even if we are two parallel lines, i want to try to prove the equation that allowed us to meet.

these are my lessons;

but these are not enough to describe how you have changed me.

shit! i hate my job!

shit! i didn't even look up to see you eye to eye when our paths crossed this afternoon.

shit! i need a new job or else i might go back home..

shit! i fuckin miss you..

which is which?

tired, sick and sad. squealing right now! grrrr....

phone just shut off. again. then and again. and people would say they can't contact me. again. and they would tell me i'm hiding??? what a disgust.

i never hide. i never run away from responsibilities. let me just work in peace here and you'll get what you want.